Monthly Archives: September 2008

A brand new wiener dog joke

Via Howie’s Rants and Raves:

Everyone felt sorry for the Israelis. No one else thought this weird animal stood a chance against the growling beast in the Arab camp. The bookies predicted the Arabs would win in less than a minute. The cages were opened. The Dachshund waddled toward the center of the ring.

The Arab dog leapt from his cage and charged the giant wiener-dog. As he got to within an inch of the Israeli dog, the Dachshund opened its jaws and swallowed the Arab beast in one bite. There was nothing left but a small bit of fur from the killer dog’s tail.

The Arabs approached the Israelis, shaking their heads in disbelief. “We do not understand,” said their leader. “Our top scientists and breeders worked for five years with the meanest, biggest Dobermans and Rottweilers. They developed a killing machine.”
“Really?” the Israeli General replied. “For five years, we’ve had a team of Jewish plastic surgeons in Beverly Hills working to make an alligator look like a Dachshund.”

Dachshunds join the Ringling Brothers Circus

Six white Bengal tigers trained by 22-year-old Vicenta Pages of Florida, one of the few female tiger trainers in the world.

Three Asian elephants – the second-largest land mammals in the world and one of the most intelligent – stomp trunk to tail into the ring.

Five dachshunds perform tricks taught by animal trainer Diana Vedyashkina of Russia.

Welcome to the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey’s Boom A Ring circus show, coming to U.S. Cellular Coliseum in Bloomington from Sept. 10 to 13.

Wait.

Dachshunds?

Our sentiments exactly. Read more in the Bloomington Journal Star.

Dachshund popularity plummets in Deutschland

The German Dog Federation said births of dachshunds registered by breeders in Germany have slumped 35 per cent over the past decade to 7,120 in 2007. It is a far cry from the 1970s when 28,000 puppies were born a year and the short-legged dogs were a ubiquitous sight snoozing under cafe tables or impatiently tugging their owners along behind them.

Although dachshunds remain the second most popular dog breed in Germany after German shepherds (Alsatians), the figures were deemed alarming enough to provoke anxious headlines about the threat to a cherished national symbol of Teutonic stubbornness. “The German Dachshund Must Not Die!” wrote Die Welt newspaper.

Pet owners are increasingly opting for more fashionable dogs such as golden retrievers, Labradors, Jack Russells and Highland terriers, the dog federation said. Even pugs are gnawing at the dachshund’s market share with an almost four-fold increase in births in the past 10 years.

“If you’re looking for a dog these days there’s simply a far greater range of breeds on offer than 20 years ago, and the traditional German dogs are suffering from that,” said Udo Kopernik, a spokesman for the federation.

Luckily, wiener dogs are gaining in popularity elsewhere as globalization hits the dog world.